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Ballarat - Canberra - Sydney

15/3/2012

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One of the upstairs galleries in the Ballarat Art Gallery
The Ballarat show was gorgeous, with the very generous acoustic of the historic art gallery giving us some challenges regarding the wash of sound, but also making it a joy to sing the lyrical passages. Ballarat is the only stop on this small tour where I have not been before, and it made me homesick for the road – oxymoronic as that is. The countryside - unusually green for this time of year - always makes me happy, and as difficult a lifestyle as it is, living out of a suitcase for weeks at a time, it really does seem worthwhile when you get to see places in Australia you would otherwise not have cause to visit. My year touring with Co-Opera last year, through Queensland, NSW, the ACT, Victoria, South Australia and Western Australia, made me very appreciative in that direction! Perhaps I was born to be a traveling minstrel after all. :)

By the time we three arrived in Canberra we were definitely feeling the tour burn. Sadly, I have yet to discover a better antidote to summoning the cold creep of poisonous water through my veins than to flush them with a nice full-bodied red wine after each show. This is not an entirely constructive habit, but does allow one to participate satisfactorily in the obligatory post-show conversation. As a result of this habit, however, my tour colleagues were treated to rather more of my anecdotes than I would have liked and now have all manner of dodgy ammunition with which to bring me down. Gah! Anyway, to give you an idea of how far things had deteriorated in the Sensible Stakes, we had discovered that all three of our dads are called Peter, and had taken to calling ourselves “The Daughters of Peter”, and positing ideas for a creepy cult. As you do.

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Nor could I wait, by the end of this dinner, to get all the pins out of my head and take the beehive down, leading to me sitting at the dinner table in this packed pub looking like I’d stuck my finger in a power socket. Still, once you’ve swung from a signpost in a sleepy historic gold rush town or chased a giant goat through a field dressed in corset and 18th century maid’s costume as I did last year, your attitude towards “appropriate behaviour” (always tenuous) shifts irrevocably.

Julie and I both admitted later that by Ballarat we were kind of ready to put the burden down, and the final two shows were difficult. For my part, when I arrived in Canberra I thought I was fine (although very tired), went out for a jog, and then found myself crying in the shower. Fortunately one of my angel friends was smart enough to sit me in front of excellent telly and feed me curry. Despite the unravelling, the Canberra show went well.

The Sydney show, on the other hand, became a story that I suppose I will reference the next time I am on tour drinking too much.

We were gathering our strength for the final performance, but, well, I’ll admit to being bloody miserable. I hadn’t admitted it straight away because I have a tendency towards oversensitivity and I didn’t want to be precious. Or clichéd for that matter. I mean, god, if you’re going to be “but I’m an ARTISTE dahling!” then at least be original in the ways that you’re annoying, right? But I guess you just can’t tell that story – in fact, you shouldn’t – without it leaving you empty. To go over her terror, her pain, her confusion, her heartbreaking hope; to relive her saying goodbye to her parents in every performance… It really did take its toll. I think the voice of my Narrator got more and more bitter throughout the run, and I found myself gritting my teeth at the end of my final “…and she died”.


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Fortunately for me Julie broke first, and then I at least allowed myself to accept it. “I don’t really think I can do any more of this, I can’t IMAGINE how YOU must feel, having to do all the words!”

So it was with the last bits of our energy, and a certain amount of relief, that we embarked upon the final performance…….only to get 10-15 minutes from the end and have it interrupted by a full scale fire evacuation!! I realised quickly enough that I WOULDN’T be allowed to call it a night and go for dinner, so I took myself off into the darkness by the Botanic Gardens, away from the large body of audience, students and staff that poured out of the Sydney Con. The jazz musicians commenced jamming on the street, and everybody cheered the firemen when they came, and I sat watching in the shadows, suspended between life and death, between Kelly and Karen, with my high heels in my hand and the stone warm under my feet. Couldn’t believe it. Talk about prolonging the torture.

But eventually we got back in, and I was surprised by how well we managed to get back into the flow of it, I think partly because the music is so fiendishly tricky that there is no choice but to be 100% concentrated on the piece. There doesn’t seem to be any way to make it work other than to give yourself over to it completely.

We gave ourselves over to it completely. It was an amazing tour, and it was a total honour to travel around and make beautiful music with the other Daughters of Peter, fabulous musicians and hilarious girls that they are. I DO love my job, even though it was a bit painful this month.

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Melbourne, and the sad realisation that the things I have done that would actually IMPRESS teenagers, are exactly the things I am not allowed to mention in a high school lecture

8/3/2012

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I had the great good fortune to be staying right off Brunswick Street in Fitzroy for the two days/nights we were in Melbourne. Brunswick Street is a wonderful place to hide, as it is far too busy and important and excited about itself to notice the weird starey kid sipping the decaf latte and taking photos of the street art on her phone like a dork. Geez, Karen, have you never seen Spongebob wearing a balaclava before?

On the first morning in Melbourne, really FAR FAR too early to be doing anything useful let alone singing depressing music which sits in the bass clef, Julie, Zoe and I gave a lecture to composition students at the VCA High School on Jeremy Beck’s music, obviously highlighting Black Water and the 3rd Cello Sonata. That was actually fun. Julie did a really marvelous job of introducing and breaking down the music, and we all performed some excerpts. I got overexcited about having a chance to warp impressionable minds and started ranting about the duty of the composer to use music to communicate that which words alone cannot.

Both Julie and I struggled not to swear, in a painfully transparent fashion, whilst describing our oft-hilarious rehearsal experiences with the piece. “…at which point I just about lost my….stuff.”

At the end of it, I pointed out to Julie that there was at least one kid in the back row who seemed so hopelessly stoned it wouldn’t have mattered if we’d sworn, or danced the Fandango. “But then again, if there isn’t at least ONE adolescent male in a composition class who is stoned out of his mind then something’s not right, right?” Having said that, that night there was a small group of students from the class who turned up for the performance, and that warmed my heart.
“I believe that children are our future….” Sorry. Too soon?


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Black Water in the Adelaide Fringe

5/3/2012

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The first two shows, as part of the Adelaide Fringe, were some of the hardest performances I’ve ever done. Australian premiere, the composer sitting in the audience (directly in my sight line), both performances being videoed. Not to mention it really being the most challenging work I’ve taken on up to this point: technically, vocally and dramatically. And topping it all off, my sense of personal responsibility towards the piece: I really wanted it to touch people. It’s fair to say I was feeling some pressure….

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Zoe Wallace (cellist), and Julie Sargeant (piano, and the originator of this plan to bring Jeremy Beck’s music to Australia) began the programme with Beck’s beautiful Cello Sonata No 3 “Moon”. I fell in love with this piece the first time I heard it and it has been such a pleasure listening to it develop and unfold each time I prepare myself to go onstage.

On opening night, emotions ran so high that both Julie and I burst into tears as soon as we got off stage! The second performance saw us a little more in control, however, which apparently made for a more powerful impact on the audience. After both performances, I had people come up and tell me we had made them cry, or that the piece had made them “feel sick to their stomach” – can’t say I’ve ever had THAT response when singing Purcell or Debussy!

The most special reaction, however, was from the composer Jeremy Beck, who got me in a big bear hug and said, “THAT was IT.” That was the point at which I started crying after the SECOND show. But enough of the tense, exhilarating and emotionally-charged atmosphere onstage and more about the man behind the music.

Jeremy Beck, who flew out to be with us from Kentucky, USA, has earned awards, grants and honors from the American Composers Orchestra, California Arts Council, the Los Angeles Chapter of the American Composers Forum, Kentucky Foundation for Women, Millay Colony for the Arts, Meet the Composer, Wellesley Composers Conference, Oregon Bach Festival, Iowa Arts Council and the American Music Center.

He holds degrees from the Yale School of Music, Duke University and the Mannes College of Music, and has released four CDs of his music. The critic Mark Sebastian Jordan has said that "Beck was committed to tonality and a recognizable musical vernacular long before that became the hip bandwagon it is today. Indeed, [he is] ... an original voice celebrating music."


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The wonderfully talented and very inspiring Julie Sargeant.
He is also a thoughtful man; incredibly kind and generous towards his interpreters, without a need to talk unless he really feels he wants to add something, and with a wonderful openhearted quality. Perhaps this openness of spirit is what allows him to create in the way that he does.

He told us that he had sent the score of "Black Water" out to many singers, some of whom had requested a copy from him having heard the piece, and that many of them had taken one look at it and sent it back, saying it was too difficult. It has only been performed four times in the States to date. That made me inordinately proud of what I’ve managed (none of which I could have done without Julie Sargeant).

He also laughed his guts out at “Total Recall”, which he’d not seen before, and did a hilarious impersonation of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Legend.

Please, if you’re someone who is interested in being exposed to new music, Beck’s works are both beautiful and complex – check some out! His website is: www.beckmusic.org, and there’s even a movement of the Third Cello Sonata on there for you to listen to.

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Zoe Wallace (cello), Jeremy Beck (composer), myself and Julie Sargeant (piano) - Thomas Edmonds Opera Studio, Adelaide, 4 March 2012
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Black Water by Jeremy Beck

20/2/2012

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So this is where I get all earnest on you. Please forgive me. But sometimes it is only through Art that victims have their stories heard. Sometimes the telling and retelling of their story is the only justice they will receive. This is one of those stories, and the themes are as old as time. I feel a sense of responsibility towards this piece which is not something I have experienced before.....

In 1969, the dead body of a young woman, Mary Jo Kopechne, was discovered inside an overturned car in a channel on Chappaquiddick Island, Massachusetts.  The car belonged to Senator Edward M. “Ted” Kennedy, who did not report the late-night incident to police authorities until the following morning.

After the discovery, Kopechne’s body was recovered from the submerged car and Kennedy gave a statement to police saying that during the previous night, she was his passenger when he took a wrong turn and accidentally drove his car off a bridge and into the water.  After pleading guilty to a charge of leaving the scene of an accident after causing injury, Kennedy received a sentence of two months in jail, which was suspended. The incident became a national scandal, and may have influenced Kennedy’s decision not to campaign for President of the United States in 1972 and 1976.

John Farrar, the diver who recovered Kopechne's body and captain of the Edgartown Fire Rescue unit, asserted that Kopechne did not die from the vehicle overturn or from drowning, but rather from suffocation, based upon the posture in which he found the body and its position relative to the area of an ultimate air pocket in the overturned vehicle. Farrar also asserted that Kopechne would likely have survived had a more timely attempt at rescue been conducted. Farrar located Kopechne's body in the well of the backseat of the overturned submerged car. Rigor mortis was apparent and her hands were clasping the backseat and her face was turned upward. Farrar testified at the Inquest:

It looked as if she were holding herself up to get a last breath of air. It was a consciously assumed position. ... She didn't drown. She died of suffocation in her own air void. It took her at least three or four hours to die. I could have had her out of that car twenty-five minutes after I got the call. But he [Ted Kennedy] didn't call.


     - diver John Farrar,  Inquest into the Death of Mary Jo Kopechne, Commonwealth of Massachusetts, Edgartown           
                District Court. New York: EVR Productions, 1970.

"Black Water" by Joyce Carol Oates is a slightly-veiled fictional account of these events.  Respected American composer Jeremy Beck completed this work in 1994, writing and shaping the libretto himself from her text.  This extended composition for soprano and piano is not a song-cycle per se, but is closer in its form to that of a monodrama, with the soprano and the pianist assuming multiple roles and states of mind (following the variety of levels created by Oates). 

I begin rehearsals this Thursday for shows with Co-Opera in the Adelaide Fringe Festival, Melbourne, Ballarat, Canberra and Sydney. More details on the "Events" page.

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"Berrima Smalls" Art Song Concert

12/2/2012

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This entry is really a short homage to teachers. All kinds of teachers, but singing teachers in particular.

The lovely Ella and I did a gorgeous art song recital in Berrima yesterday afternoon, as part of the Berrima Smalls concert programme. The venue is a prettily rustic little village hall, lovingly restored and bedecked with quilts, cushions and flowers by the local music community. Despite the crazy weather we had a good turn out, and afterwards, a home-made afternoon tea!

But the amazing part for me was seeing my first singing teacher again after many years of being out of contact. She taught me whilst I was at high-school, but we fell out of contact when I was 18, at the point when I gave up singing completely. Last year, she heard a broadcast on the radio of me singing with the Sydney Philharmonia Choirs, and emailed them to see if it was the same Karen Fitz-Gibbon whom she had taught.

I'd really been too busy to think much on it before the time came to travel to Berrima, other than to be pleased about the pending reunion. Then, over breakfast, the friends whom I'd stayed with the night before were entertained by a sudden mild panic of embarrassment that descended upon me when I looked back on the things this woman had endured at my hands: not practising, forgetting my music, forgetting sometimes that I even had a lesson, turning up to the lesson and crying. Nothing truly evil, of course (as if I'd share that, hahahah!) but the sort of irritating, demoralising behaviour that I have heard my Uni friends who teach lament over many a time.

Well, it was wonderful seeing her again. Really, really special. And to all the amazing teachers out there, not just music teachers but teachers of all kinds, I'd like to say: these students who are rubbish and do not treat the knowledge that you offer them with the respect it deserves, and who do not seem as passionate about their lessons as you would like....don't let it get you down. Sometimes, it just takes a very long time for seeds to grow.

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"Handwritten in Song" at the National Library of Australia

4/2/2012

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My fabulous Lied-Duo partner, Ella Luhtasaari, and I had the most wonderful time at the National Library last night, performing a showcase of the vocal music in the "Handwritten" exhibition of manuscripts. I'd spent some fair chunks of time at the Library during my Honours year at ANU, even dragging Ella into the soundproofed recording rooms in the Oral History department to bash through piles of music that had been buried in the Archives in search of gems for my Honours project (Yes, some eyebrow conversations as a result of that. We came across some very interesting songs that were literally too racist and blood-thirsty to want to risk performing them, even as historical interest pieces. Some giggling ensued). I even managed once - I have no idea how - to talk somebody into taking me into the archive stacks where they showed me original scores that belonged to Dame Nellie Melba - her red pencil scrawls are still in the margins.

And the best anecdote I've heard from staff is about what they need to lock away in the strong rooms each night. Obviously the library has priceless treasures, like Captain Cook's diary, which stay there all the time. But it is also a copyright library, and as such, contains a copy of every publication of everything in the country, ever. Well, nearly. Each night they lock up the magazines that are most regularly stolen. Hilariously, this comprises: porn magazines, magazines about cake baking and magazines about cat grooming. Well, Canberra has its quirks, ladies and gentlemen.

Yup. Safe to say I love that library. Well, I have a thing about books generally, and especially old books, so it was always going to be love....
I've spent hours in the cafe there, eating their muffins and coaxing a thesis out of my laptop while kaleidoscopes of coloured light from the funky stained-glass windows spilled down on the white marble of the foyer. A high-ceilinged foyer that I sometimes wanted to test the acoustic of. Well, well, well.

It was as good as I'd hoped. And there was some crying. Not by me, by the audience. But in a good way. Not because I hurt them or anything.

Afterwards the guests were served with champagne as we all had a 'private' viewing (90 people in one room is not private) of the exhibition itself. I may have been slightly overwrought from an hour of German poetry, but I just wanted to lie down on the ground and stay there and never leave the room. There was an ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT of Dante's The Divine Comedy from 1347!!! So. Much. Awesome.

Probably the most poignant moment, though, was standing in front of the scores for Act II and III of Mozart's "Le Nozze di Figaro", which has been such a massive part of my life for the last year, having done 40 performances of it in five different states. Because I was one of the two people in the room whom everyone seemed to be quite pleased with at that point, I went ahead and put my grubby little paws on the protective case, smearing my longing, fingerprinty wonder all over the glass. And the only words in my head were, "Thank you". (OK now I think about it, "Whoah" probably crept in there too.)

For more information on the exhibition, please go to http://www.nla.gov.au/exhibitions/handwritten

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    ____ In 2005 I found myself in London, broke, constantly sick, and working in a job I hated. I had dropped out of Uni and run away from Australia years earlier, and had had a mind-boggling succession of actually-I'm-not-going-to-share-them-on-a-professional website adventures. But I looked up one day and realised I really wasn't happy with my life. "So if you're going to change things," I asked myself, "what is the dearest dream you once had? What is it worth turning everything around for?"

    I had chronic pain from (unbeknownst to me) dislocated bones; both my lungs and my throat were compromised. I smoked a pack a day. I hadn't worn an evening gown since my Year 12 formal and couldn't really walk in heels. I didn't read music, and had never sung an aria, nor studied music at school. But I knew what I wanted: I wanted to serve the muse. Bit mad, really.

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